The American public has yet again been reminded
why the GOP primary resembles a literal fight of the tummy sticks after
Marco “Automaton” Rubio apologized on air for insinuating that Donald Trump, a human/Komodo dragon hybrid, has a tiny penis.
Trump later addressed Rubio’s comments during a presidential debate in a moment we all now wish never happened, implying the opposite. (It’s okay if you just shuddered in disgust; I did the same while writing this article.)
During the CNN segment, Rubio confessed that he felt his joke was not representative of his integrity or his character.
“It embarrassed my family. It’s not who I am,” he told Tapper. “What
I didn’t realize was it isn’t who I am and if you’re not being who you
are it doesn’t come across well.”
Rubio also stated that his decision to crack wise was made in a time
of desperation—especially since none of his other electoral strategies
seemed to be working.
“This guy is out there every day mocking people, saying horrible
things about people, but if you respond to him somehow you are hitting
below the belt?” Rubio said of the situation. “And he can do that
because of whatever reason, he can do that. But I couldn’t do that.”
“It isn’t who I am, it isn’t what I do, and by doing that I ended up hurting myself, not him,” he added.
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